As an observer of many developments in Christian debates over homosexuality, I have had much to ponder.
One of the things I ponder is the question of whether we are framing the issues in a way which will lead us beyond tit for tat argumentation ending in non-negotiable stand off. There is something unproductive, for instance, in the conservative Christian community saying to homosexuals, "You are in the wrong, you must change, when you do you will find church to be warm and welcoming", and homosexuals unchanged by this, in some instances remaining in fearful invisibility, in others remaining composed and bold in response, "We are who we are, we are not wrong, why are you afraid of us?". There is also something unfruitful for our mission when this leads to societal perceptions that the church is 'anti-gay'. What would Jesus do? The gospels imply that Jesus would do things differently, that he who answered loaded questions with unexpected answers that evaded traps would frame the matters which vex us in a way which would avoid the traps we have fallen into.
Andrew Goddard has read a book which may be helpful. He offers a comprehensive review here - comprehensive in the sense that it might just mean one doesn't feel the need to actually read the book for oneself. The book details are:
Andrew Marin, Love is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community, IVP USA, 2009. ISBN 978-0-8308-3626-0
("IVP" for those unfamiliar with this publisher is a leading evangelical publishing house).
Andrew Marin's blogged thoughts are here.